It's half past midnight.
On the bed and it's freeeeezing in here.

Beginning of a new week.
And I will make use of all my free time to start on revision for MBTs.
Hoping to pass everything for MBTs.
And start aiming higher for Maths and Chem.

A levels time-table is out and it's not that bad.
Can't wait for it to end though all I can think about now is to drive and to get a job and club.
LOL.

Realized my interest in games last for barely 2 weeks.
Scramble got boring.
And so did Draw Something.
Haha.

App of the year : Instagram.
Got my 60 seconds of fame yesterday with my cool photo.
So proud!!
Huahuahuahua.

Stalked some pretty girls on fb today and fuck everyone's so fit and slim and healthy.
I'm a sad handicapped blob.
I hate PE lessons when everyone runs and when they finish their 3.5 km, they have this look of satisfaction.
The sweat, the messy hair, the tired face and the aching legs.
GOSH I MISS THAT FEELING.
What I would do to be able to run like that again.
Scratch that.
What I would do to even run at least 200m without feeling this intense sharp pain in my chest.
Haiz why.
Why why why.
But it's ok at least I'm still alive.
Thankful for that.

Wonder how I'm going to last dancing two 6 minute pieces.
Not gonna be a pussy and complain.
Gonna work on my stamina and hope this heart gets stronger.
Should probably work out.
Need to swim damn it.

Sigh.
This week was umm emo.
But whatever, what's the point of thinking about things that make you sad.
Why don't you make your own happy future with the ones you love?

Let's all forget the past, shall we?

Brush it off,
and move on.

XOXO

Another early night for me today.
Too tired.
Didn't touch my bag at all when I reached home.
Showered, ate and straight to bed.
Really hate lying on my pillow with wet hair, but tonight will be an exception.

Few things I enjoyed today.
Recess with the TK VS people, the arts and crafts session and MCS.

MCS was good today.
I have developed a liking for zapin and I can't wait to do contemporary.
Secretly wishing to be the person to be thrown around in the air lol sounds exciting.
And secretly wishing we had more practices so I can erase everything out of my big over thinking head, and just fucking dance.


Back to square one.
Maybe even square negative one.
When things go from good to very good to bad to worst.
Sigh.
Can't stop thinking of every little detail.
Wish I didn't know anything.
But then again, I do wanna know everything.
Haiyy how do I compete with that.

So emo for what Isya lol.
Where got tiiiimmmmeeeeeee.


XOXO

Going to bed before 12 today.
First time in god knows how long.

Tired.
So so so so so tired.

I should stop complaining.

Wondering again if anyone reads this space.
I hope no one does though.

My life is an open book.

XOXO

Gonna regret being up this late tmr morning.
But I can't sleep.
So much on my mind.
Haiyayayayaya.

One should never be allowed to think past midnight.
Because thoughts often lead to second thoughts.

Should stop doubting myself.





Why?
Why me?

XOXO

17th Feb

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TAUFIK MY FAVE BOY FOREVAAAAAAAAA <33

School was a drool so lets just skip it lolzzzz.

Bowling first. 

We both won a game each haha i still suck though.

Manhattan Fish Market for dinz.

So many promotions! 

Cheap good food and amazing mudpie.

And shisha at night! 

Cheeeeelllzzz.

And this is my mom's bday wish for Topik hahaha

Really enjoyed my day hehe.

Happy 19th love.

Can't deal.
I am an emotional wreck and nobody knows.
Lol.
This is secretly killing me.
Fuck seriously fuck.
Fucking karma.

Fuck.

Valentine valentine

Nenek, I miss you.
A month till your first death anniversary and just thinking about it saddens me.
I miss spending every weekend over at Sembawang, I miss eating the food you cook, I miss kissing you and hugging you, I miss hearing you call me chacha Le sigh I miss everything about you.
Can't believe a year flew by just like that.
How did I manage to go a year without you.
And I'm writing this and crying and I doubt anyone understands.
I miss you.
I just really really really miss you.

It's Valentine's Day.
And this year, it's no big deal.
Just another Tuesday.
New year, new Valentine.
Hopefully this one stays for the next subsequent years.
Keep spending my Valentine's Day with different people.
It doesn't feel exclusive anymore.
Taufik, will you be my last?
Haha.

3 days till Taufik's 19th and I am not ready.
I enjoy planning birthdays and such but not for the people the closest to me.
I don't know why haha.
Too much expectations I think too much on my shoulders too much to bear.
So yes pls help me and make my life easier lol.

And I'm glad you've moved on.
A part of me feels uneasy honestly.
But I am perfectly happy where I am so I shouldn't be feeling this way.
Good luck anyway.
Wish you all the best.
And I hope you'll stop hating me too.

XOXO

Helloz

This is weird.
A good weird I think.
Why am I even feeling this way.
Hahaha.
WEIRD SO FUCKIN WEIRD.
Just shut up.

The weekend is over.
Sigh depressed.
Starting to hate school.
Tmr I shall try my best to catch up on my work.
Since I didn't do much this weekend.
Lol I'm so useless.

Valentine's Day is coming.
And for the first time in 5 years,
I'm going to school empty handed.
DISAPPOINTED
PLUS
BROKE
PLUS
TOO TIRED.

Hope you guys still love me <3

And I miss my BFF Nicole Mak I miss you so bad I wanna die now it's been months since I met you )':
Sighhhhhh.

XOXO

Change.

Not everyone likes change.
Not everyone is receptive to change.
Not everyone wants to change.
But if it's for the better, then why not?
What's holding you back?
What's making you hesitate?

Think and think hard.
If its for the better, then change.




Because I am waiting.

Hi friends lololol

THIS WEEK WAS JUST CRAZY!!!!!
Went home so late everyday except today and it's a Friday today
so I deserve an applause.
^^

Orientation was fuckin awesome I swear I had so much fun,
the lack of sleep, exhaustion and missing out on lessons were totally worth it haha.
Photos later!

Monday we had wet games.
So proud of my OG because everyone said our OG was really loud compared to the rest.
Left for dental to get my top retainers now I can't talk properly and it hurts like a bitch.
So I've been wearing them only at night LOL.
Which is bad but I don't care.
Stayed till 10 plus in school to tie water bombs and mass Phobos shower at the voleyball court.
Hahahaha love these crazy people.
Went home all wet good thing I live nearby!

Tuesday was MMM!
Games started at 9 plus and I had so much fun with Angie!
Love this girl, suntanned and camwhored from 9 plus till 5.
And every OG that came to our station had so much fun.
I wonder if they still rmb me.....
LOL.
Went to Athirah's house at about 9 to bake till 11 plus!
The boys stayed till 3 plus which was really crazy.
DEDICATED.

Wednesday was mass wet games and Finale!
Mass wet games was the shizzzzzzzzz.
Much better than last year's.
But I was having my period so ya kinda leaked....
LOL TMI.
Then showered and prepared for Finale!
Did the Phobos mass dance again and I realised how much I love performing.
Haha.
Everyone was so high, best "clubbing" night after Zouk.
Can't wait to club somemore can I be 18 now CHEY.

Thursday skipped school.
Wanted to do work but I didn't do anything much.
Disappointed.
Met Taufik after so long.
Lepak with Hilman and Mateen
Then MCS so stress every time.
Concert in 2 months and we might have to dance another piece and I am excited!
Dinner with Fik at Asli and he gave me a rose AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Okay anyway,
Made so many new friends this week.
It's quite amazing how you see someone for a whole year in your J1 life
but you don't actually make conversation or even eye contact.
But during orientation, you throw waterbombs at them and joke with them like you've known them your whole life.
So I'm thankful for these 3 days because I get to mingle with so many meridians.
So sweet Isya :')

Made a few J1 friends too!
Which is good cos I don't hate them.
Instead, I make an effort to want to get to know them.
Lol lets see how long this lasts.
But me and Frin need new eating buddies new table buddies hahaha.
So guys if you see me and Frin, come join us we won't bite.

Now I'm lagging so much in everything but Mr Ng has been so understanding I luv him.
Didn't do any work today, but I'll catch up over the weekends I promise!!
Performed for the J1s today and I really hope people join MCS la seriously.
Come on MCS is easy LOL.
Its not la but ya its pretty fun. No regrets.

Orientation is over.
Next up, A levels.
What a wake up call.

Enjoy guyzzzzzz!

First day with Phobos 6 / 12S411!

Angie, my D4 buddy at Tanjong Beach.

Suntanning and getting sunburnt together.

Tanjong Gang!!!! 

Frisbee, love stories, sun, sand, sea.

Elite 4, 

Even though we won't be together so often anymore, 

you guys will forever be the best classmates ever. 

Fabes, 

I'll miss you. Can't believe you left already.

Gonna miss your hate vibes and you bullying me everyday <3

My Phobos 6 OGLS!

Thanks for making Orientation a success!!!

The rest of the Phobos OGLs,

LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!!

Orientation wouldn't have been this amazing without each and every one of you!

And of course,

Taufik, my fave boy.

Thanks for tolerating with me and 

I'm sorry I neglected you so much.

Thanks for being patient with me, 

and still treating me like a princess even after everything.

I love you <3

Hi everyone I'm finally brace-less!!
And I've never been happier
:} :) :] :D
Lolllllll it's half past 12 and I'm not sleepy yet even though I have to be up super early tmr.
6:50 in school can you imagineeeee.
I know I live 5 mins away but SIGH.

This past week went fine I had fun.
Too much fun actually.
Work is piling, plus I'll be missing lessons for 3 days so that means I'll have more work coming my way.
But whatever really.
I wanna enjoy 3 days and have all the fun I can ok so fuck it.
LOL F U MJ its been a month since school started and I wanna pull my hair out.
As if I'm not already balding...
Ok gotta chill and breathe and let loose these 3 days.
EXCITEDDDDDDDDDD!!!!?!?!?!?
My OG has 25 people 14 girls and 11 guys I really hope they're fun people pls pls pls let me have fun people in my OG.

Ok besides orientation.....
Idk there's nth else I can talk about.

Watched the latest episode of Gossip Girl yesterday and omg I really wanted to cry that was the most dramatic episode in the whole 5 seasons aaaahhhhhhh really can't wait for the next episode!!!!!

So I watched Blair's wedding and Bride Wars, and I really wanna get married now.
It'll be so beautiful and so grand and sparkly and pretty and just amazing.
And my ring omg I need a huge ring.
Sigh good luck to my future husband pls still continue loving me during our wedding.
Wanna have babies and a nice house and an Audi and kitties.
Sigh long way to go......

I should stop wanting to grow up.
And enjoy my teenage years.
Besides, I'm turning legal this year.
Hahahaha legal....
As if I'll do anything legal ish.


XOXO

Hi la hi.

Doing my essay now on Work and Life.
Wtf how broad is that what am I supposed to write seriously.
Can't even think, forever no brain juices flowing.
Think they dried out a long time ago lol.
Feels like I'm writing a Geog essay though.
Haha.

Orientation just nowwwwww....
Awkward AG....
Hahaha they were okay I mean they were kinda cute but I can't really remember any of their names la except one cool name Moire.
Lolz how cool.
Love the Phobos OGLs so crazzzyyyyy!!!
Couldnt stop laughing the whole day haha love you guys can't wait for next week!!
Wet games, MMM and Finale woohooooo.
Hopefully I'll get a fun OG too.
Quite a number of malay guys and girls this year lol can add more to the standard table.
Need to make friends and not be a bitchy senior k I'll try my best.
But I already wanna slap some faces LOLLLLLLLLLL ISYA I BET EVERYONE WANTS TO SLAP ME TOO HA HA HA

Can't wait for Friday braces off bitchezzzz.
The bottom part is already off and I'm soooooo happy can't wait for the top too hehehehehe.
Can't stop smiling and licking my own teeth lolololol

Parents went to Vietnam for 4 days leaving me sissy and Raiyan
to survive without proper food or clean clothes or a clean house.
But it wasnt that bad actually.
We made it.
Even though I didn't have any uniform to wear on Monday haha damn what is life without my parents.

Ok should probably get back to my essay soon.
Maths test tmr and I'm too lazy to revise just gonna smoke my way through.
As always.
Chem test yesterday was like wtf.
Haha wonder why I study for Chem when its pretty impossible to score.
But I luvvvvv Chem.

And Scramble is taking over my life.....
Hahaha I'm pretty good at it the only people who can win me is my sissy
who is freaking awesome but I'm improving k.
And Adliya too and Audrey awww my 4/9 smartasses.

I have such amazing discipline the only tabs that are open are blogger and wiki and google and shit.
Forcing myself not to get on twitter or fb or tumblr or youtube cos then I'd get distracted.

I miss so many people right now like Nicole and Iffa and Bel and Hilman and Faridzuan and the team and Raziv Seth Adib and Faty and Nidia.
Sighzzzzzzzzzzz busy busy busy.

Omg speaking of Hilman haha just got off the phone with him lol he needed to ramble and complain so of course me being the good friend that I am had to listen to him whine like a bitch for an hour over the phone haha.
Now I don't miss him anymore.....
Hilman if you're reading this I'm kidding I lub chu but you're still ma bitch.
If only everyone on that list called me now then I wouldn't have to sleep tonight I don't mind really.
Hahaha

Ok anyway bye everyone CAN'T WAIT FOR FRIDAY!!!
Gonna evolve into a butterfly lol yes I'm an ugly caterpillar now lulz.

Btw I'm happy.
So happy with where we are now don't really want anything to change.

XOXO